Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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