I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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