So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
