i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Randomize
