you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
