THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Boobs speak an international language.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
