We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
