Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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