so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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