I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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