I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
