This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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