Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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