Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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