If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
