I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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