remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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