He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize