Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
