So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
