Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
