at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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