FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize