I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I understand Curling. That high.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
