She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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