evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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