is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
