What a fucking waste of an outfit
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
