It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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