Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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