Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
