? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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