Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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