Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
