I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
