I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
