oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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