Actions speak louder than pants.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
