Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
