i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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