this beer tastes like vomit already
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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