we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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