do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
