Pants 0. Shit 1.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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