It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
