I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Duck Duck Cougar?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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