in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
