Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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