well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
