I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Randomize
