I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
