I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
