And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
