Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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