yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
