I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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