You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
