how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
did i just pee glitter
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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