They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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