I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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