I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
