if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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