hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
