I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
