I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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